17
Mar
This time last year I made a fairly dramatic (by my standards) change to my appearance, and cut my hair. I told myself that it wasn’t about the guy, that I’m not that girl but I think it kinda was. Well, not really. I mean it was one of those times that my lack of luck in the love department put me in a mood and I guess I felt that I needed to do something. I was still getting used to this newfound independence and decided to cut my hair. I’ve wanted to do it for years and it was also the cheapest, most temporary thing I could do to my person.
I started working on that book again, the one that involves me typing out all the journal entries-both public and private-in chronological order and publishing it. That, and a lot of other things that have been going on, have got me thinking intensely about how my life; where I’m at now and where I want to be in x amount of years.
I’m pretty much convinced that my life would be so much easier if I were a cold hearted bitch. Then again, that lifestyle requires dedication I can not provide. I love my best friends and family too much. I depend on them to keep me alive and sane.
And just like last year, I determined the source of the problem is guys. I’m too sensitive, and need to forget them for the time being. If I keep crushing and dreaming of a super life when the other main character is Mr. Awesome, then I’m in for regularly scheduled bouts of disappointment. It doesn’t help that I have co-workers on my case about how I choose to live my life and giving me unwarranted advice.
I’m currently at home for the rest of my vacation and have chosen to take this time to re-evaluate everything.
I’ve decided that it’s time to move on from the cute guys. I can’t quit cold turkey, considering one is a big player in a TV show I watch religiously and the other is a classmate of mine, but I’ll figure something out.
I’ll just refocus on my work and let everything else fall into place.
Hopefully everything works out for the best. Most likely though, I’ll be typing another entry like this next March.
