January 2012
2 posts
Pathetic
I don’t do well with people leaving.
My best friend moved away one April day in the 7th grade and I cried on the bleachers during gym class as I watched her say goodbye to everyone.
I shed a couple of tears onto my pillow at the age of seventeen the first night I spent alone after I said goodbye to a friend who only stayed at my house for a couple of days.
I bawled like a baby in the...
December 2011
4 posts
2012
The year I stop giving a fuck.
I’m just going to do the best I can in school. Work hard, learn everything, but not burn out.
I’m going to stop caring as much about what other people think.
I promise to be a little bit more selfish but remain caring and respectful.
I want to celebrate life more and associate myself with people that are willing to do the same.
And to me, celebrating...
Sure, I'm An Adult...Technically...
When I had my last day of interning last week it didn’t occur to me until 2 days later that it was also the last day I would be wearing cute outfits. Upon this realization, I almost wept (not really because that would’ve been pathetic).
My suitemate informed me I could just wear cute outfits all the time now but I said, “oh haha, but that would be logical!”
Then Monday...
I Think I've Decided To Have The Best 3 1/2...
That, and I feel since the whole being an undergraduate is a one time thing, I should make the most of what’s left and stop complaining about stupid crap.
*Pretty positive he’s not depressed or suicidal so I don’t feel bad about being happy he’s a little bit miserable. The moment it turns seriously bad for him is the moment I stop (I can be mean, but I’m not cruel.)...
November 2011
8 posts
“First, remember that style comes in all sizes, so the bigger you are, the more...”
– Those fashion tips are courtesy of noted style icon and total badass Miss Piggy. (via fuckyeahwomenprotesting2)
“Remember, unless you want to officially cut ties with someone, always give them a way out in conversation. Never be outright with your feelings. You want them to leave the conversation with their pride.”
I flashed back to that day a couple of years ago when it was just her and me. We went out to have dessert for breakfast and we sat and had a conversation about haircuts and bad...
A Brief Kanye Moment (If He Were A Design Student)...
My vectoring skills are pretty boss.
The Answer
Have you ever heard of the light at the end of the tunnel? I always understood the concept, tried to apply it to my life but it was always half-assed.
And then I receive the following from a friend:
Check this out. How cool would it be if you interned or volunteered to this organization.
Tunnel, meet Light.
Months spent stressing out; wondering what I’m going to do after graduation....
Alcohol Just Became Really Appealing Again →
JM, this will be part of our rooftop celebrations.
It’s really weird when your younger and more experienced suitemate gives you unsolicited advice about dating.
But all is forgiven when she sends you a badly drawn image of you and your (seriously, I’m pretty sure he’s gay) RA kissing and insists that you two will end up together one day.
In other news, a picture of Darren Criss giving the lens sexy eyes (not on purpose)...
So Many Lovely and Not So Lovely Things
I had a great day at my internship Friday. Overall the experience has been a solid B-. I learn but it’s not as exciting as I thought it would be but yesterday was spectacular. I got to come up with ideas for a layout (Will they be used? Who cares?! I got to test it out anyway!), edit the cover AND the head honcho in charge told me I was a really good intern.
I consider it a win despite the...
I re-imagined my future today.
It didn’t involve fancy galas or high-end charity auctions. No, I saw myself living in a two floor apartment Downtown with my husband and having a beautiful and professional looking studio on the first floor.
I would be a professional graphic designer and a part time professor.
I want that life and it seems pretty achievable.
And yes, I will still travel...
October 2011
9 posts
Friends and Food
I come across as “sweet” without being conscious of it and I have this rule against being rude to people who handle my food. This, in turn, has resulted in semi friendships with the people who work in the campus cafeteria. Well, friends is the wrong term considering I don’t know their names, but we go out of our way to say hi to one another and make conversation.
They’re a...
Can I have one semester where I don’t question my decision to be a graphic design major? A semester where I don’t feel like a loser in almost all aspects of my life?
I got a C- on my latest advertising project. Considering I only have half a semester left, I have to get at least a B+ in the last two projects in order to get a B in the class. I don’t know what it is about...
The Talk
10:43 PM
Tears of frustration sprung to my eyes, clinging for dear life at the edge of my eyelids.
This can’t be happening right now. This can’t be happening.
“And then when Sunday comes and I think ‘Ugh, she comes back today’”.
10:47 PM
I have to actively try not to get up and confront her right now. This is not the time, nor the place and I’m livid...
The Amount Of Sleep I Get Is Directly Proportional...
This is the year I’ll let it be known that yeah, I’m a sweet person and sure I let a few things slide but I’m not that much of a doormat. If it matters to me, I’ll defend it to the end with a great force.
Related note: It’s time to step up my game and be more aggressive with my passive aggression.
September 2011
5 posts
Resident Advisor
He kept his door open so I kept my door open all afternoon and evening.
He lives right across the hall.
I played my music loud and spent a lot of time cleaning right in plain sight.
I made several unnecessary trips to the garbage disposal hoping he would stop me and say hi.
I paused before I reached his doorway as I came off the elevator, thinking about commenting on the music he was playing...
Really cute guy posts a picture of a ridiculously good looking breakfast on FB.
You ‘like’ the post.
He says “Let me make you breakfast, you’re life will change” and you immediately think of eating a delicious meal after an awesome night together.
Get tempted to reply, then realize four other girls ‘liked’ the same post.
…
One day that breakfast...
“And if you have earned the right to cut then at least be Diana Ross, honey...”
– Laurieann Gibson to contestant on Born to Dance
What I Want To Be Doing Today:
(but seriously, I’m satisfied with a dream considering he and I have never met, much less shared a meal where he charmed me enough to agree to premarital shenanigans.)
What am I doing instead? Going to class and trying to remember that it is in fact my 20th birthday (today doesn’t feel any more special than any other day so, it’s easy to forget).
Positive: I finally saw my...
August 2011
3 posts
There should be a warning label next to every blogger that follows you or likes an entry. Just in case you decide to click the name and scroll down…
…and see very graphic images of two males getting it on.
Thank you, Internet.
Love: What is it and how do you know you feel it?
I really don’t know what my feelings are doing. They make me feel one way and then BAM something completely different without warning.
I think I’m in love. If you know me well enough you know that I don’t like to toss around that word often. If I say it, I want to mean it and not regret it. I’ve often wondered if it’s possible to love someone else without being in a...
Rants
I love, absolutely LOVE how my mother insists that I have to clean up the house whenever I bring guests over (because they are my guests) and when she invites someone over, it’s also my duty to clean. Not just “hey, can you just vacuum a couple rooms that you actually use?” but “Why haven’t you cleaned the room that you don’t even use? I’m totally ignoring...
July 2011
3 posts
Summer 2011 Rant
I think that many things have been missing from my life this past year.
Somehow between my high school graduation and now I’ve lost the will to be positive, and my motivation to do anything productive varies depending on the hour you ask me.
After both intense self reflection and a few sessions with a shrink, I’ve decided that it’s time for my attitude to change. That’s...
Sometimes I'm a Poor Judge of Character
Glee Project Contestant: (not the exact quote) “I’m a good dancer and I know that so I figured that it was time to let someone else shine [during the last challenge].”
Me: “Aw, that was nice of him.”
Everyone Else: “Man he’s conceited.”
Me: “Wait, what?” (rewind, press play) “Oh. OHHHHH. Oh yeah, that is definitely an arrogant...
May 2011
4 posts
The First Thought I Had When I Woke Up This...
“If I get an internship at a magazine this year, my entire wardrobe will have to change. I can’t alternate between 3 business casual shirts, especially if I work twice a week. Someone will notice!”
Mind you, I have yet to start the application process. I like to worry about the little things ahead of time.
Out With The Old
I’m currently in the process of ridding my room of decorations or knick knacks that reminds me of life before college. This is not an act of bitterness or even embarrassment; it’s just time to move on. Time to finally have a place to put my college things whenever I come home.
Gone is the huge magazine collage and old, unframed photographs that adorned my walls and mirror. I’ll...
I've Decided That I Want To Be Famous.
Not a celebrity, who has to worry about paparazzi stalking her every move, but famous. I want to be invited to high profile events like correspondents dinners at the White House and galas thrown to raise money for charities.
I want to be the woman so good at her job in the magazine industry that her name becomes synonymous with ‘power’. I want travel, both for work related things and...
April 2011
7 posts
Boy News
There is 95% chance my “future husband” is taken.
All rumors, no facts but the fandom is currently in an uproar and it’s hi-larious.
Of course I’m feeling weird but really, it was a fantasy. We all knew it. I’m going to focus on the 5% of doubt and my school work until my feelings dissolve in, oh, 6 months or so.
Going to try stress relief exercises and then call...
Thankful For:
-Fan girls who do the internet stalking for you and then provide the world with their findings in a terribly humorous way.
-Best friends who boy gush and discuss wedding dresses when watching ‘Say Yes To The Dress’.
-Parents who take you out to lunch and make you laugh after a stressful week.
-A mom who gives hugs that warm the soul.
-A roommate who understands my need to gush...
Life Update
All my thoughts about this week, thus far in one long post. Again, it’s a long post basically for my benefit.
Monday: I forced myself to go to bed a 3AM Sunday night. What I really wanted to do was work on my music video. The one that’s due in 2 weeks. The one I plan to send to the band via Twitter (since it’s required I post it on the internet anyway). The one that I decided to...
Type Class
Student: We should have a vino party.
Professor: I don't think you're all of age. Are you?
Student: We're old enough to lie.
Professor: I like my job, thanks.
Therapy II
In the 6th grade I discovered the existence of a thing called “therapy”. It was a difficult time in my life (well, as difficult a kid who wasn’t physically harmed could have) and I felt I had no one to talk to. Because of an issue, I ended up having a couple of therapy sessions with the assistant principal and attended a few group meetings lead by the school therapist. Once I...
Goal #24
Stop comparing how my professional life is going to other art majors from HS graduating class.
I’ve improved tremendously, skill wise and the payoff will be decent. I just need to wait and stop hatin’.
If I wasn’t any good, I wouldn’t have gotten into such a prestigious school much less lasted this long, right? Right.
Focus.
Living Room
When I was younger I created plans for my life; “tiny prayers to father time” as Death Cab puts it.
I dreamed of having my own place that I kept clean from day one, with rooms that had colorful (but tasteful) painted walls, extremely comfy couches, shelves filled to the brim with books on design and light fixtures one would think cost me $100 for Pier1 but really cost me $10 because I...
March 2011
12 posts
Speaking It Into Existence
I want to get the job I just applied for.
I want to get my t-shirt idea printed.
I want to meet Oprah Winfrey and Darren Criss at some chill charity event and see them both wearing the t-shirt.
I want to converse with them, tell them how much I admire them (Oprah) and how talented I think they are (Darren).
I want take a picture where they’re flashing my design and I’m pointing to...
"Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned"
It’s always weird to go away for a while and come back to see what you’ve missed and how the people you used to hang out with actually act.
After last night I wanted to come home, hug my mother and tell her “Thank you for raising me the way you did” because I have values.
Growing up is much more complicated than I thought it would be and it’s frustrating.
This time last year I made a fairly dramatic (by my standards) change to my appearance, and cut my hair. I told myself that it wasn’t about the guy, that I’m not that girl but I think it kinda was. Well, not really. I mean it was one of those times that my lack of luck in the love department put me in a mood and I guess I felt that I needed to do something. I was still getting used to...
Therapy
Today I woke up in this best mood ever. For no reason other than the sun was shining and I felt inspired. I made myself a delicious breakfast sandwich, animated for a few hours and then took a nap.
Later, my roomies and I played a board game and bonded over our mutual un PC humor and love of my homemade apple dumplings. We successfully quashed whatever imaginary tension I created with my suite...
So, you ask me to stop my really low humming (while washing the dishes) 5 seconds into it because you’re studying (not that I knew that at the time).
YET when I’m studying, AND YOU KNOW I AM, you choose to vacuum.
I’m stressed out right now and I’m *this close* to taking my frustrations out on you in person.